No, Thank You

Click, click, click. (See the clicky keyboard post below.)

Dang, can't log on. Better call customer service.

"Please press one to speak in English."

This is going to be unpleasant. Let's see enter my phone number, OK, already did that online, but it didn't work, and my zip code, yup and now the last four digits of my social.

"I'm sorry, but we did not recognize your input. To speak English--"

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. (Sound of my jamming in the operator button.)

"This call may be monitored."

I hope so.

"My name is Marianne, can I have your account number?"

"I don't have an account number. I'm trying to register--"

"May I have your phone number?"

Didn't I just type that...never mind.

"And your zip code."

Yup.

"And the last four digits of your social security number."

Fine.

"And now sir I need a new PIN from you."

"Huh? Why's that?"

"So that if you call in again. It's more secure than your social security number."

"Hey, that's a nice idea. Sure, 1234."

That's easy. I use that PIN for everything.

"And I need a letter sir."

"What for?"

"Your PIN has to have a letter."

"But I don't want a letter in my PIN. I won't remember a letter. I use 1234. How do you expect me to remember my PIN when you make up some arbitrary rule."

"You'll have to write it down sir."

"But then not only isn't it secure anymore, but I won't have it with me if I'm off somewhere and need to call you for help with this site."

"I cannot go further without a letter."

"But I just want to register to see my thank you points."

"You need a new PIN so that you can call back and not have to use your social security number, sir."

"But what if I can't remember the new PIN?"

"Then you will have to identify yourself with other information."

"Like my social security number?" Aha. Got her now.

"No sir. You need a PIN."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

"Then cancel my service." That'll show them.

"That will erase your points."

"You're going to erase my points because I won't give you a letter for a PIN I don't want?"

Blood draining from my heart. Rushing to veins in my neck.

Ultimately she relented and got a supervisor who didn't say anything about the PIN issue as she got me a login and password. "It's only temporary. You'll have to change it."

"Does it have to have a letter in it?"

"I don't know, sir."

Somewhere in Citibank this was a good idea once. At a meeting someone explained how they would protect customers more from ID theft by no longer using the Social Security number as a primary source of identification. Someone else agreed. It was a good thing.

Then someone else implemented it and made a script for the telephone operator. They didn't tell the operators that if someone didn't want a new PIN, they could opt out as long as they clearly explained how they were trying to protect them (me), the customer, from bad things.

Instead, that good idea wasted. And all that marketing effort to make me love Citibank and stay with them as my bank because I got "thank you points" was wasted.

Reputation, built over time. Lost in a PIN.